Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Can You Hear Me Now?

Covered-Up and Politinotions have unearthed startling new information regarding the heretofore unexplained disappearance of the American Silent Majority. Obtained via court order under the Freedom of Information Act, the new tapes, recorded by the Bush Administration as part of the wire-tapping surveillance initiative, cast revealing light on on the Silent Majority's last known whereabouts. Sometime between September 11th 2001 and early March 2003, GPS triangulation pinpointed a conversation taking place somewhere over the Atantic Ocean:

Hello? Hellooo-oh? **Kathump** No, I'm over here! Not... **Kathump** not out there. This way! Inside. Hello? **Kathump** Can you hear me? Can you... **Kathump**... hear me now? Right by the... **Kathump** ... friggin aorta! **Kathump** No, not the bodega! **Kathump**Hello? Hello... **Kathump** .................
- Last Known Words of the Silent Majority.

Pundits hold out hope that the Silent Majority may be alive and well somewhere in an undisclosed location under care of a friendly foreign State.

While Administration officials refused comment on National Security grounds, an un-named former Hill staffer stated that the Silent Majority had been treated for an unspecified heart ailment well within accepted standards put in place under the Geneva Convention. "That heart was turning in clusters," the official stated. "We just got to it in time because the roots that were connecting it was under incredible incredible stress"

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